Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Beauty and the Beast

We had the DVD from Blockbuster's mail service sitting by our TV for probably three weeks or so. Just never got around to watching it. Finally, I was able to convince my wife to give it a try. We put the kids to bed, popped some popcorn and put on Peter Jackson's King Kong.

I had seen this version of the movie once before. In the theater when it was released. If you have never seen PJ's version of King Kong, you should rent it. It takes a while to get moving, but we have to decide that we like Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) and are at least suspicious of Carl Denham (Jack Black). Liking Ann was easy, and Carl was easy to like--and dislike as Jack Black did his con-artisty job of getting everyone he needed imprisoned on a ship bound for an uncharted isle. (Sounds like the makings of a bad sit-com).

PJ's version of this story is a little bit like Kong meets Jurassic Park. It's a long movie too. It took us two nights to watch the whole thing. Janet watched about two-thirds of it then decided it was time for her to go to bed.

As I watched this movie again, a thought struck me. There would never have been a story if anyone other than Ann/Naomi had been taken by the big ape. I mean, suppose the smug film director Carl/Jack was taken away by Kong. The rest of the guys from the boat would have said (in their best Seinfeld voice), "Hum, yeah, that's a shame," and probably would have booked it on out of there. But since the lovely Ann/Naomi went missing, all the guys just had to go after her. Had Jack gone missing, it would have been a much shorter story.

Let's see....which would YOU have gone after?

So here are some questions of logistics: 1) Once knocked out by a singular bottle of chloriform, how did they get Mr. Kong up onto/into the boat? 2) Are there really any more uncharted islands? 3) How did the natives come up with the technology to keep Kong out of their quaint little settlement? 4) What girl in her right mind would scale the Empire State Building? 5) Are there really that many ladders and steps to the top? 6) Could one stand at the top really? with a 25 foot monkey? 7) Come on now, can Kong really beat up three T-rex dinosaurs? 8) if you're a passer-by in Manhattan and there's a big ape on top of the ESB, and planes are firing on him to kill, would you stand down there at the foot of the building waiting for him to fall? 9) if you're Jack Driscoll/Adrien Brody, how do you feel coming in a close second to a big ape? That can't help your self-esteem.