Sunday, July 13, 2008

What would You Do?

This evening, I began preparing for our annual pastor's retreat. This is an ironic event because I am technically neither a pastor, nor are we under duress such that retreating is required. Still, it is a staff get-away sanctioned by the elders as something healthy and even necessary for our team so we do it. Since I've been on staff we head to West Jefferson, a nice little community in the northwest corner of the state in the mountains far away from things like cell phone towers and the internet. That's not actually true (and as such, I'll try to keep you updated on twitter), but it is serene enough that it sometimes feels that way. In my office, I have a lot to do. At home, Janet and the kids wouldn't mind if I stayed around for the next few days, but I do genuinely enjoy the guys on staff, even if it means I have to play golf.

This leads me back to the part about the preparation. The last time I played golf, was on last year's retreat. And the time I played golf before that was on the previous year's retreat. You get the idea. Golf is fine if you have unlimited time, financial resources, and patience, and since I lack in all three, it receives very little of the required dedication from me.

So my preparation for this event entails removing my golf bag from the corner of the garage--where it has sat since--well, since I cleaned out the garage a few months ago--and literally taking a broom and brushing off the dust, cobwebs, a couple of spiders, and whatever other interesting stuff accumulates over the course of a year on an untouched item in one's garage.

I went through the pockets to check and see if I actually had any golf balls. I haven't lost them all yet, so I'm good. I even have a few tees and a glove.

I was surprised, however, to find in one of the golf bag pockets two snack items.

Before I go any further, I need to introduce you to my taxonomy of favorite snack items. There are three things that I will snack on at just about any time: peanuts (I prefer to crack them out of the shell), popcorn (butter doesn't hurt) and Doritos.

What do I find in my golf bag? A little Planters package of salted peanuts, and a small little Doritos bag. The expiration date on the the peanuts reads 2/17/08. That seams pretty clear. However, the Doritos bag has a slightly ambiguous "8/14" printed on it. No year.

You may not appreciate my struggle. I would really like to load up on those snacks tonight! In spite of the dates (they always go to the safe side by at least a year, right? plus the Doritos bag didn't give a year so it could be THIS year, right?), I could either
  1. Eat them anyway
  2. Feed them to my kids (see if anything happens)
  3. Mix them with fresh items, see if I can tell a difference
  4. Save them for a White Elephant gift exchange
  5. Keep them for some of the neighborhood kids at Halloween
  6. Throw them out
Any other suggestions? What would YOU do?